May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Randomize
