Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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