Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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