i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
