Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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