Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
