Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
