this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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