Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
