He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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