Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
