just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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