Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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