take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
