just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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