omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
