At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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