WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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