What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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