the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.