Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
