My sheets look like a crime scene.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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