Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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