like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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