u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
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i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
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Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god