Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb