week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."