I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
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You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
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Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?