Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize