AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.