This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.