I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.