now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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