Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month