Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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