You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
