She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Farmville is her only friend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
