He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
This house was built for laser tag.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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