Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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