did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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