Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
