were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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