I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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