My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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