You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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