why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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