I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
