I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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