glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i think my cat just said my name.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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