Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
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Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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