her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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