i wish there were pregnant emoticons
organizing the empties. That sober.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
