what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
