Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
