ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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