i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
