a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
