The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
