He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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