Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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